Mr & Mrs Smith

You see, by late January 2007, Clay and I were not in a very nice place.  Our relationship of 20 odd years was crumbling – communication on any level had ceased to exist.  Civil conversation was sparse and when there was some it was mostly filled with angry retorts, accusations and   reprisals.  Clay constantly seethed about the fights and I simply ran away – finding work that took me away from home for days at a time. 

It was a combination of a bad financial situation we had gotten ourselves into, and all the feelings of guilt, that we both associated with that, along with unresolved grief at each of us losing a parent in recent times.  I was so scared of answering the phone for fear of debt collectors, and it came down to putting the house on the market.  We were broke, sad, depressed, angry, hurt and blaming the world for our woes, and then Clay was diagnosed with clinical depression.  Even though we had each other, we both felt so alone and lonely.

Do you relate to anything we were going through?

Being the eternal optimist and knowing how much we love each other, I kept looking for a way to “fix” this – and of coarse I was looking for a quick fix.  Anything that would make me feel better, help us relate better, and I kept saying, “if only we could sell the house”, “if only the phone wouldn’t ring”, “if Clay would just let me be in peace”, you see, not only was I blaming everyone else for my then current situation, including Clay, I wanted someone else’s action to change it.  And I was desperate for it to change immediately.  But it didn’t.

When a person chooses to blame others for their circumstances, they give their control away.  And there is no more disempowering feeling than a lack of control.

One of the most important things we have learned is that in everything there is a lesson if you care to look for it and inherent in every “problem” lies the solution.  It may not be a solution we are particularly fond of at the time, but a solution nonetheless.
The other and probably more important thing we learned is that we are responsible for our lives and ourselves.  That in fact we are in control of how we feel about things and the direction our lives take.  You see, it’s not about taking or assigning blame for the events in our lives but about taking on the way we behave regardless of the events in our lives.
Let me give you an example.  Once we realized that how we behaved regardless that we were still broke and the house was still not sold, it gave us a sense of control previously missing from our lives.  After house inspection number 61 – and no I am not joking, we still didn’t receive an offer – even though the home was beautiful, spotless, roomy, huge in fact, perfectly presented, etc, we lost count of the number of times we were told by agents that they couldn’t understand it.  At this point we were fairly close to bankruptcy, we decided that instead of focusing on the obvious that we would lift our sights and see where we might like to move to.  We had already lost a “home of our dreams” because we hadn’t sold and had pretty much dropped our bundle and given up.  So, we started looking again.  We decided we wanted to rent, that we wanted something smaller (5 bedrooms for 2 people was a bit silly), with a view of the mountains, and of water if possible, on a hill, with no neighbors (acreage) , no small ask, right!  We decided we wanted to rent , to give us some time to work out what we really want in a home and in a lifestyle and where we wanted to go from here.  Within 3 weeks of learning that our life is our choice, and in our control, we found a lovely cottage in the southern ranges, on a mountainside, with a view of the mountains and a huge lake, on 45 acres with enough room for us and al our stuff.  It was perfect.  I rang the Real estate agent and enquired about it and he said it had already be given to another family.  I advised him that, that may be the case and that we were the ones that would be moving into it – remember we still hadn’t sold our place.

Now as it turned out our house sold the following Friday afternoon around 2pm.   At around 5pm, the real estate agent called and said “I can’t believe this, I have just received a call from the owner and he said he wants you guys instead of the family – you got it!  And he wants a 2 year lease!”  I said  “yep, I knew it was the one”.
Take responsibility for yourself and your life and the universe will literally move mountains to support you.

Join us at the Weekend Mind Makeover, step up to the plate and get into this game called life. 

Time is all we have and time is running out.



 

The meaning of life, the universe and Everything…………

………..(wait for it)……………………………………………is 42

According to the cult classic “Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy” the meaning of Life, the Universe and Everything is 42 and since I turn 42 on Thursday, I may be in for an interesting ride!!!!

If you are at an age that you remember paisley (the 1st time around), telephones with dials, you know, the type of phones that you can’t twitter, facebook, email or find your way to the nearest party on. If you remember when petrol costed less than 20 cents a litre, then you will quite possibly be asking some of the questions I have been. And even if the internet, sms-ing and Victoria Beckham/Tomkat and Brangelina are a natural part of your daily conversation, you just might be too.Because, you see, the human mind is ever searching to expand its experience.

So what questions have I been asking????? What am I doing with my life? Where have the years gone? Is this all there is? Is it too late to change it?? How can I be a better me? How can I have a better life?

My quest, so to speak, began about 14 years ago when my friend Paula gave me a book and told me I had to read it. And since I rarely do as I am told, when she asked if I had read it, the next time we met, she was a little shocked when I said “I did”. I found words in those pages that inspired me, motivated me, gave me a yearning for a better me, …a better life than the one I saw in my present so-called reality!

So I began to read, go to seminars, listen to speakers, some great, some extraordinary (to me at least) and all the while I was thinking “it’s ok for him, he’s rich”, “it’s ok for her, she has a degree” and so my excuses went on. Until one day I received an email about a seminar by Dr Topher Morrison called “the Mental Game of Life”, Clay and I went and our world changed in two days.

We were introduced to the empowering techniques and ideas that areNeuro Linguistic Programming and during those 2 short days in our lives we learnt how powerful, amazing and extraordinary we – humans I mean, really are!!!!!! We got so excited about it we became Certified Trainers of NLP!

But wait! If you don’t want to be a better you, if you don’t want a better life, don’t read any more. Because if you are looking for some out of the ordinary, Richard Branson/Anthony Robbins type people and stories here, you won’t find them. We are just like everybody else, we have just learned some secrets and are driven to share them.

So stay tuned, if you really want a better me, to be a better you and have a better life…..

To be continued…..and until then,

Have Courage

Faith in You

And Take Action

To your Amazing future

Mr & Mrs Smith
Terina& Clay